Think of your favorite picture of a person or group. What is it about that particular portrait that draws you to it? Is it the memory it conjures? Is it because you finally got the kids to stay still for the shot after an hour of trying? Is it because it reminds you of a past, happier time in your life? What is it for you?
Looking at that picture, don’t you wish that person or group could just be that way all the time? Yes? Well, that’s what we’re talking about today. Framing people. Choosing one aspect of them, or one moment of their lives and expecting or desiring them to be that way always. In short, we want them to be the way we want them to be. All this despite the fact that our own behavior changes with our moods, our environment, our health, our challenges, our setbacks, our wins… our hunger status. So, why then would we expect anything else of others? Why isn’t Janet allowed to be a little irritable, or why can’t Mike not want to talk right now?
Frames are for pictures, not people. Let’s remove the frames and allow people to experience their emotions and hopefully grow into expressing them maturely, even as we experience ours and hopefully express them maturely.
Think about the number of relationships that may have ended because people became friends with or married people based on
- what they thought they could be
- what they observed in one setting
- what they thought they could get
- outward appearance
- words that were never brought to life
- how they treat them, without paying attention to their treatment of others
- just ‘the feels’
- the life track they appeared to be on
everything other than learning about who they really were.
How many times have we made decisions based on our people snapshots, instead of based in reality? Then we take those snapshots and formalize them by framing them and hanging them or placing them in a place of honor. Now these people definitely have to live up to our standards, right? Think about that for a minute, or maybe an hour.
Frames are for pictures, not people.
kayzinterests
A picture is a wonderful thing. It enables us to capture special moments and even share them with others who would have otherwise missed out entirely. Every picture tells a story, but is it telling the real story? (I’m sure our minds all drifted to some social media pics here.) Is it telling the complete story? No human being can be defined by a photograph – no matter how real the story of that photo is in that moment. Let’s stop framing people. Let’s stop framing ourselves. Instead, let’s live real, multifaceted lives, make wise decisions, and never stop growing.
spot on post. Love it.