Over the last few weeks, we’ve been talking about some steps to genuine acceptance. Acceptance requires us to know what we are accepting and also to acknowledge it as true. It also requires us to allow the situation and see what our mistakes were. This week we are going to discuss realizing that any given situation is only part of your story and not holding on to old expectations.
Realize it’s only a part of your story
So, it may be that the reason you’re having difficulty with accepting your situation is the amount of time, energy, emotion, money you invested. You may be feeling rejected, foolish, and embarrassed in addition to feeling hurt. You believe that something needs to be done to make up for the wrong(s), and you don’t think you can move on until either the situation is reversed or there is adequate restitution (as approved by you).
I get it. I do. But there is a problem. You see, while all the above may be true, what it means is that you are now sitting and waiting for something that may never happen. You have effectively given yourself over to this thing that cannot be worth it. How do I know it’s not worth it? I know because anything worthy of your time moves you forward, benefits others, or both. Trapping yourself in your own life does neither. Yes, that’s what you’re doing. You are trapping yourself, preventing yourself from moving on, living in limbo. It’s important to remember that no matter what has happened it’s only a part of your story. You have many chapters already written in your life book, and unless you choose to stop living because of this big thing, you will have more. Allow this chapter to end, and begin writing the next chapter of your story.
Don’t hold on to old expectations
Just as viewing a situation as the end of it all can stall your life, so believing that there is a specific and specified-by-you conclusion to a situation can do the same. If you’re waiting for your ending to take place, you may wait forever. In the meantime life goes on without you. Put your expectations aside. They will only hinder your progress. As you begin to write your new chapter, don’t diminish your experiences by subconsciously waiting. Also, believing that only one ending is possible based on past experiences will stunt your growth. Don’t hamper new relationships because you’re expecting the worst. Don’t stop innovating because your last idea was publicly and loudly rejected. Don’t stop working on your dream because they said that you’re being unrealistic and ridiculous. Don’t expect that people will always treat you the way you’ve been treated in the past, or that things will never work because they haven’t yet. These are life-draining mistakes.
Wrapping up
Acceptance does not always mean agreement; it sometimes just means that you realize what the situation is and your feelings about it no longer control you.
Is the situation yours to change? If you can’t change it or it’s not yours to change, make the decision to let it go and move on. Your own life awaits. You can’t get bogged down in the past or someone else’s life at the expense of your own life and well-being. Make decisions about things you want to see happen in your life and things you need to remove from your life, and begin to work towards those. Allow your past to be past, live presently and work towards your desired future.
I hope this series was beneficial to you or someone you know. Let me know if it was and how. Look out for the next series in 2018.
Click on the relevant links to read Acceptance – Part 1, Acceptance – Part 2 and Acceptance Part 3.
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