What effect do you have on people when they first meet you?
Are you the one with the quick smile and ready wit, or the one who can’t seem to put a sentence about the weather together to save your life? Is your first impression memorable – positively or negatively so, or is it… unremarkable?
How about your long-term effect? You know, how do people generally see you after they’ve gotten to know you?
Which do you think is more important?
We place a lot of emphasis on first impressions. Yes, they are important because a negative one may close a door in your face, mark the end of an opportunity, or significantly lessen the chance of developing a relationship you wanted to pursue.
Personally, I believe there may be a little too much emphasis placed on the first impression and not enough on the long-term effect. Why? Because first impressions can only carry you so far. They can get you through the door, but they can’t guarantee you’ll be invited to stay. You have to be able to prove yourself in the long-term to maintain that first impression. Our everyday words and actions paint a picture of who we are. People come to know us through our consistent behaviors, even if that consistent behavior is us being inconsistent and unpredictable. This picture has the power to overturn any unfortunate first impressions. On the other hand, leaving a great first impression with no follow-up in the long term just results in disappointment and regret.
But can we see ourselves clearly? Can others see us clearly? We all have biases and baggage that influence how we see ourselves and others. Often, we feel confused about why we didn’t get the position, or why there’s no second date, or how that conversation went south so quickly. That’s because we can’t see and hear ourselves exactly as others see and hear us, and vice-versa.
So, what’s the point? We all have times when we don’t show up at 100% and that’s okay, but we should always aim to be the best we can be at that moment. We should also try to be more self-aware, and perhaps work at being ourselves instead of constantly trying to adapt our behavior to that of those around us. Funnily enough, when we do that people don’t appreciate that misguided effort. They can tell we are being inauthentic.
First impression or lasting impression – just show up as you and improve as you grow.
Question: What do you think that world would look like if we were to simply be the best we can be at any given moment… consistently?
