The experiences we have most hated.
The things we have most dreaded.
The deepest hurts we’ve been through.
The periods of intense pain.
If we let them, these can teach us the most about who we are, who we can be, and how we can move forward.
What are we missing and why?
I don’t know what you’re missing, but I can guess why you’re missing it. We focus on the stressor – the hate, pain, hurt, instigator – and the external details of our experiences (what was done to us), and neglect to sit and think about
how we truly felt,
how we got through,
what kept us going,
who was there for us and in what ways,
what we realized about ourselves as we lived through the experience – positive and negative,
how our reactions affected others,
patterns that may have contributed to our hurt,
patterns in the lessons,
how we were changed – again, positive and negative,
and so much more.
We fail to see, acknowledge, and learn some truly transformative lessons… and we place ourselves in a position to have to endure more experiences that attempt to teach us the very same things.
Why do we avoid these times of introspection? Because they are hard, sometimes painful, and just not fun at all. We are ‘happier’ piling blame elsewhere than focusing inwards and doing work on ourselves. Of course, we are not actually happy. How can we be when our very identity is wrapped up in what others have done to us, instead of who we are?
Look ahead and realize that holding on to blame and pain will not serve you in the future. Let’s learn the lessons we should have learnt by bravely facing our pasts, our pain, our hurt, all the things we would normally avoid.
Here’s to a much brighter future.
Really good stuff here…