Have you ever considered that trying to make things feel “okay” can sometimes get in the way of genuine healing and growth? It’s natural—we all want to help others feel comfortable, loved, and supported. But there’s a tricky line between support and unintentionally slowing down the process of real change and healing.
Think of gap fillers as temporary comforts that make challenging situations seem manageable without addressing the real issues. They’re like band-aids placed over wounds that actually need deeper treatment. On the surface, everything might seem fine, but underneath, the real problem is still there, untouched and unresolved.
If you’re playing the role of a gap filler in someone else’s life (yes, people can be gap-fillers too), you might mean well, but here’s the truth: you’re inadvertently standing in the way of something crucial. Genuine healing often requires facing discomfort head-on, allowing for honesty and eventually genuine solutions.
So, how do you know if you’re being a gap filler?
Ask yourself:
- Am I continually stepping in to smooth things over?
- Do I feel uncomfortable letting others face difficult emotions or conversations?
- Is my presence preventing necessary (though sometimes uncomfortable) change?
If you recognize yourself in these questions, don’t panic! Awareness is a significant step. Your goal isn’t to abruptly pull away and widen the gap, creating more hurt. Instead, gently step aside and in so doing create an opportunity for real healing to take place. Your role can shift from fixer to supporter, from barrier to encourager.
When you lovingly step out of the gap, you give others the gift of genuine growth. You offer them the chance to face reality, seek real and positive solutions, and truly heal from the inside out. By stepping aside—kindly—you become a catalyst for meaningful change.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay not to fix everything. Sometimes, the best help you can offer is the freedom and space for someone else to find their own strength, resilience, and healing. You’re still there, offering encouragement and love, but you’re no longer blocking the path toward genuine change.
Take a deep breath, step aside gently, and watch what amazing growth unfolds – for them and also for you.
