People are Selfish

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People are selfish.

Most of us consider this to be fact, but have we considered what it really means?

Selfish: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others

That’s the definition of selfish.

We all have been selfish on multiple occasions I’m sure, but for some people it is a way of life. The thing is, we know who those people are in our lives because selfishness can’t be masked for very long, and it’s up to us to ensure that we don’t get caught up in it.

What am I saying?

If when you sit and think about a particular relationship in your life it seems largely one-sided, someone in it is selfish. If you review one of your relationships and your time together is spent mostly doing for them only, someone in it is selfish. If the bulk of time is spent doing for rather than being with them, selfishness is a theme in that relationship. If all talks come back around to them and their interests, I don’t have to tell you that they are selfish – I think the dictionary did a great job with that.

But this isn’t really about identifying selfishness in your relationships and yourself. It’s about how acknowledging it can save you.  You see, if you’re close to a habitually selfish person and you don’t accept that truth you will most assuredly become bitter. Accept it? Yes, accept the truth of it. That knowledge doesn’t have to kill the relationship, but it should change it. Why? Because you need support too; you need people to be in your corner too; you need people who can put you first when necessary too.

There are people who honestly don’t recognize how selfish they are. A conversation could make a world of difference in those cases – over time and with patience. Unfortunately, this won’t work for everyone. That’s okay though, in those other cases you can be the change you need.

You get to choose how much time and effort you invest in those people.

You get to choose which projects and activities you want to get involved in.

You get to decide how to make your time together mutually beneficial at least some of the time.

You get to step back when you need air.

Now, maybe you’ve come to realize that you are more selfish than you previously thought. You may be on the way to ostracizing your loved ones and now is a great time to do some more introspection and start making strides towards being less selfish and more thoughtful.

Wherever you fall on the spectrum, there’s work to be done. I know it’s said often, but it’s still true: There’s no time like the present.


So, how selfish are you? How many of your relationships are one-sided – whether on your side or on their side? Let’s talk in the comments.

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See you next week.

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