Have you ever played that old record: I have no one in my corner to fight for me, defend me, be there for me. If your answer is yes, ask yourself a few questions: Who can fight the hardest for me? Who knows me best? Who knows deeply what I desire most? Who’s going to do it my way? I’m guessing your answer was, “Me.”
Of course it’s tough, sometimes lonely, and very exhausting, but it has been done and can be done again. It’s important to remember that it’s only for a period. You see, as you fight you meet others fighting on their journeys and it motivates and encourages you. You may find or form a support network as you journey – people who can actually relate to the life you are living and are trying to build. What you didn’t realize is that many times those who you wanted to fight for you, stand up for you, be there for you – couldn’t. They didn’t understand you or your dream. They didn’t see the beauty in it or the point of it. They couldn’t accept that just because they didn’t get it, didn’t mean it wasn’t important. They were unable to support you without agreeing with you. Your relationship was very conditional. So let it go, and look forward.
As you fight, keep a few things in mind.
Commit to your fight. To do this, you must understand why you are fighting and what you are fighting for. We don’t just fight for the sake of fighting – that is exhausting and pointless with no end in sight. We fight for a good reason and towards an end. Commit to that reason; commit to that result. Then you will be able to do it consistently.
You understand the basis of your fight, but do you have a plan? Is there some strategy in place, or are you just fighting with the hope that something will come of it? That someone will see you fighting and be so impressed as to hand you your desired result? Are you fighting where it counts or are you just fighting anywhere. Are you fighting when it will most matter or do you not even know when that is? Inform yourself, learn all you can about that thing, think about and approach it from every angle you can. Prepare for your fight. Fight intelligently.
Everyone has struggles. Everyone. Don’t become so self-involved that you can’t see others, that you no longer care how you treat others or if you are causing intentional pain. When desperation kicks in, pause and review your plan, your strategy. Get some rest and refocus on your goal. When you achieve that goal you want to be proud of your accomplishments, not ashamed of how you got there.
Know when to stop fighting
You’ve always had to fight for every good thing in your life. You fought tirelessly and now, finally, you’ve achieved a big chunk of what you set out for. Yet, you feel restless and strange. You can’t settle down to enjoy it. What’s missing? You’re not fighting anymore and you don’t know how to do without it. So, do you just start a new fight to quell that feeling? No. Remember, your fight was a purposeful one. Your fight was an intelligent one. It was never pointless, and neither should this one be. If there is no reason to fight, then you need to stop fighting. You need to learn how to start relaxing. Now it’s time to master a new skill.
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